Two types of junk mail

Wow. So was I ever wrong about how many people are reading. Hi to all of you. 🙂 Guess it just goes to show, don’t guess how many people are reading based on the number of comments left. Which is something I knew already… that doesn’t make the place feel any less empty, though. But the comments sure did. 🙂
So. I have determined there are two types of junk mail in my world.

Type 1: Technically proficient (look how many times my name appears! In fancy lettering even!):

Or, Type 2: Sleazy, “you already subscribed, now cough it up” style:

I’ve never even /heard/ of Element-K Journals. And I certainly never signed up for a course on Mac Administration. I’m really kind of ashamed that someone in the Mac community is low enough to sell user information for this kind of thing. We’re above that, yo. (Unless, somehow I did sign up for this stuff. I really don’t remember it, though. And I never received a trial issue, as they imply).
Anyway, I’d like to send a message to junk mailers. First off, stop sending the stuff. If I want your product I’ll look it up. But if you just HAVE to mail me something? Please use Type 1. I’d rather be talked to directly, as Firkins does very politely, then discovering someone is trying to trick me. Yeah. That’s REALLY going to me make me want to give you my money.
*moments later*
Okay, I looked up Element-K, to see if I recognized any of their publications. Nope. So I’m quite unsure where they could have gotten my info. Still curious, I decided to check their FAQ to see if they address their mailing tactics. Sure enough. Three times, in fact. This one is the best:
I’m receiving invoices for a journal I didn’t order! Is this a trick to make me pay for something I didn’t ask for?
Not at all. We find that in today’s hectic world, busy customers occasionally don’t recall sending in the offer cards for free issues. It isn’t our policy to start and/or bill for subscriptions without receiving a request from a customer. When our company receives such a request, then, and only then, is a subscription started. If you have requested a free issue and then decide not to subscribe, all you need to do is write “CANCEL” on the invoice and return it to us. There is no further obligation and you are welcome to keep any issues received. Our policy is stated clearly on the back of every offer card.
Let’s take a look at that for a second: “We find that in today’s hectic world, busy customers occasionally don’t recall sending in the offer cards for free issues.” Oh. My. God. I think I’m on the verge of losing my natural calm.